yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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