He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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