Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
