Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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