awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
