So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
