dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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