I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize