okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
