Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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