don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
