when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize