Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
