so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
And then he peed in my hair
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