im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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