Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
