No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
