we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
