I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Fuck appropriateness.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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