i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize