One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
