I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
