she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
