I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
