I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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