Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
