idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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