Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
