Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i need some magic done to my vagina
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
