I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
