can we get nightvision for the apartment?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
