She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
