Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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