I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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