So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
