It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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