R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
