also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
