I got chris browned last night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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