the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
