Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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