oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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