I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
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You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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