If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize