Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
