There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
