I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
