you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
