I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wear drunk well.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
