My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
