Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
