She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think I just sharted jello shots
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