Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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