dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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