Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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