think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
