i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
