dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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