That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
